Fight For Your Dream!

When you were a kid, did you ever dream about your future job? Like becoming a doctor, teacher, chef, etc. Those were the times when we could still dream of whatever we wanted to be, but going on with the process was not easy. There is no goal that we can easily achieve with just a piece of pie. We need to give our effort and pour ourselves into it. As we grow older, do you also think that the path that you are following now is really the path that you wanted to pursue when you were a kid? 

Well, when I was young, I dreamed of becoming an actress. I usually act in front of the mirror, wherein my parents find this trait of mine as very weird. I've started admiring different child actresses and I realized that I want to become one of them someday. But I was too shy to tell it to my parents that this was my dream, so I scribbled it down on a piece of paper. I wrote there that I wanted to become an actress. Then, my parents eventually found that piece of paper that I had put inside our shoe rack. My mother asked who wrote it, but I opt not to tell them that I was the one who wrote it.

After a few years, I didn't bother myself with this fantasy of mine anymore. Consequently, when I was in junior high, we had a speech choir contest at that time. Our group leader notices the way I act, and he is very impressed with it. Starting that day, I was able to build up my confidence in showing my talent to everyone.

Upon knowing my interests in life, I grabbed the opportunity to apply for performing arts and I am hoping that the dream that I've been holding on to since I was a kid will really come true. But there are certain things that suddenly happen, and that is the pandemic that we are currently experiencing. My application to that college was got delayed, and the faculty staff said that they were not accepting freshmen students for now. 

At that time, I engrafted in my mind that, "Everything happens for a reason." Maybe this is not really the right time to pursue this dream. So, I enrolled in a different university, but not in performing arts because they don't offer that kind of field, and to tell you frankly, I just really took this course by chance. Somehow, I am glad that I was able to survive the first semester. 

But honestly, even though I have high marks on my card, I still feel emptiness. 

A few weeks ago, I received a phone call, telling me that I had passed the entrance exam for my dream course. I was really exhilarating in happiness at that time. I told to my mother and she was glad about it, but my father didn't allow me to enroll in that school. He said, "Choose a course where you can easily find a job." 

I knew it! Practicality over Passion. 

I don't have the guts to speak up for myself because I am really afraid of my father... I can't fight for my dream right now. By just thinking that I will give up the half semester that I started is really a waste of time. So, I said to myself that there would be a perfect timing for this dream of mine. 

Last two weeks, my father was drunk, and he suddenly opened up a topic about our future job. At first, I didn't bother myself about it, but when he suddenly said that I wanted to become an actress. He just mocked at me, and said that I am ugly. I get it that it was just a pure joke, but am I too sensitive if I would say that I am hurt? What my father told to me is just like a knife that is stabbing my heart a million times. I really felt bad about it. I was fighting the urge not to cry, but I failed.

I was really hurt. I know I'm too sensitive, but come on, he is my father. I count him as one of my supporters. At that time, I started to feel insecure about my appearance. "Can I really be an actress?" That is the question that is always driving me crazy. 

Up until now, I'm still struggling to pursue this dream. But when we know that God is on our side, nothing is impossible. If you have worries and anxieties like mine, don't forget to surrender everything to God. We are not fighting the battle alone, He is there. If you see that no one believes in your capabilities, we still have one, and that is the Almighty God. 

If you want to become an astronaut, a doctor, engineer, nurse, or a model, etc. Listen... "You will be that person that you wanted to be...Just keep on going, but if it's against to our God's will. No matter how hard you try, everything will never turn out as what it is supposed to be. Be mindful of your decisions that you're making. God should always be included in that."

Let's all fulfill our dreams, warriors! Let's fight every battle with God on our side!